Can you remember a time when you scrolled through social media and saw someone your age who’d already started a successful company, done a viral TED Talk, or published a bestselling novel? Do you recall a sinking feeling in your stomach – the weight of exceptional expectations in a world obsessed by standing out?
You’re not alone.
We’re constantly bombarded with messages telling us to be extraordinary, exceptional, the best at something, anything. But here’s a refreshing thought.
Why are we not talking about the definite, overlooked advantages to being average?
Being a person of average abilities shouldn’t be thought of as a consolation prize or weakness. While we’re busy beating ourselves up for not being exceptional, we’re missing the unique benefits that come with being, well, normal.
I’m not talking about half-arsing it through life, I believe that if something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing as well as we can, but here’s why I think that acknowledging and embracing averageness, might be one of the smartest things we can do.
Average people with the capacity to do great things
It’s easy to let ourselves think being exceptional at something will be the solution to our problems. That if we’re not naturally exceptional, we’re somehow off the hook in the effort department, because you know, what’s the point.
The thing about exceptional people, is that it’s easy to mistake what they’re actually exceptional at. To quote actor Will Smith “I’ve always considered myself to be just average talent and what I have is a ridiculous insane obsessiveness for practice and preparation.” And he’s not the only one. Basketball legend Michael Jordan said that “everybody has talent, but ability takes hard work.”
James Clear’s best selling book Atomic Habits, talks about the science of what that hard work actually looks like. How to identify what to work on and when to work on it, because just working hard on everything all the time, won’t get us anywhere.
If we taught people to think of themselves as average people, with the capacity to reach their goals through smart, hard work, imagine how many more exceptional people we’d create in the process?
Freedom to explore options and choose directions
Perhaps the greatest gift of averageness is flexibility.
When you’re exceptionally talented in one area, there’s often immense pressure to pursue that path exclusively. Child prodigies frequently talk about feeling trapped by their gifts, unable to explore other interests because “it would be a waste” not to develop their exceptional talent.
Average people enjoy a freedom that specialists don’t, the ability to sample different paths without anyone claiming you’re squandering your “true calling.” My friend Ella has worked as a teacher, a marketing coordinator, and now a small business owner. “None of these careers made me famous or wealthy,” she laughs, “but I’ve enjoyed the variety. I’m grateful I wasn’t pushed down one narrow path from the beginning.”
This freedom extends to hobbies too. You can try painting for a few months, then switch to pottery or hiking without feeling like you’re abandoning your life’s purpose. There’s a rich tapestry of experiences available when you’re not consumed by the pursuit of excellence in just one area.
Greater connection with others
Being exceptional often means being an outlier, which by definition puts you outside the experiences of most people. Average abilities, on the other hand, create natural bridges of understanding and empathy with others.
Most of us know what it’s like to struggle with basic math, feel winded after climbing a few flights of stairs, or freeze up during public speaking. These shared experiences of averageness create bonds. The most relatable people aren’t usually the geniuses or elite athletes, they’re the people who face the same everyday challenges we do.
Exceptional people often report feeling isolated by their exceptional status. Meanwhile, those of us with ordinary talents can build communities around shared experiences without the barrier of “you wouldn’t understand what it’s like to be me.” Isn’t there something beautiful about that connection?
The joy of being ordinary
Being average doesn’t mean giving up on improvement or settling for mediocrity in everything. It means understanding that you don’t need to be extraordinary to lead a meaningful, happy life. It means recognising that most of human experience happens in the middle of the bell curve, and there’s plenty of joy to be found there.
Instead of seeing yourself as “just average,” try seeing yourself as balanced, adaptable, and well-rounded. Perhaps also with the capacity to learn how to get a lot better at just about anything, provided you’re prepared to put in the hard yards. You’re part of the great human majority, experiencing life as most people do, connected to others through shared capabilities and challenges.
In a world that increasingly pushes us to stand out at all costs, there’s something quietly revolutionary about embracing your averageness. It might just be the most liberating thing you ever do.
